


In which Technoblade sleep-teleports into someone's house and ends up changing his language of choice for scaring people during battles from Spanish to Enderman

by CloudDragon



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (Not as in I literally don't know canon, Alternate Universe, Canon?? I'm sorry I don't know who you mean, Enderman Hybrid!Darryl Noveschosch | Badboyhalo, Enderman Hybrid!Dave | Technoblade, I basically saw the family tree shenanigans that make Tech and Bad possibly both Ranboo's dads, If I ever update this, Listen y'all I've got badblade brainrot and had inspiration and rolled with it, M/M, No beta we die like Wilbur on Nov. 16, Paradise Found, and I'm not going to try to change my fic to fit it as those arrive), and that inspired this fic, and went "So that means one or both of them are part enderman" since ranboo is, but I have no idea if I'll actually do anything with this or not, but as in "I cannot write a fic faster than the dream SMP can get cursed lore and new events", it'll be a slowburn, so I'm not tagging it as that, that doesn't mean this is going to be any good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27907231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudDragon/pseuds/CloudDragon
Summary: Technoblade, a part-enderman who’s never met another of his kind before, accidentally teleports into Bad’s base in the middle of the night. It ends up being one of the oddest times he’s ever teleported on accident, and certainly the one he likes the best.I have other ideas for this AU, so if people like this then I’ll probably write more for it. I’m thinking that this will eventually be romantic badblade(And please don’t get mad at me for that, I know it’s an odd ship) but the first chapter at the very least can be read as platonic if preferred. I don’t know when that’ll change as I haven’t written the rest yet.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Darryl Noveschosch, Dave | Technoblade/Darryl Noveschosch, Dave | Technoblade/Darryl Noveschosch | Badboyhalo
Comments: 8
Kudos: 264





	In which Technoblade sleep-teleports into someone's house and ends up changing his language of choice for scaring people during battles from Spanish to Enderman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I have no idea what Bad’s base is like so I’m just winging it, don’t be mad if I got something wrong please

Technoblade, when he wanted to be, was good at keeping secrets. Could be, at least. Or maybe people had just learned not to ask questions about the weird things he tended to do. He wasn’t really sure.

Anyways, there was one thing no one had seemed to notice about him yet, and that was that he was part Enderman.

He wasn’t sure how much enderman he was. But he had the purple eyes that seemed to glow in the darkness, occasional puffs of purple smoke and a habit of teleporting from time to time and he was pretty sure those weren’t things most people did, so he had to be at least a little bit not-human, and those signs all pointed to enderman.

He’d learned his way around this over the years; Found clothes that covered all the areas - mostly along the back of his arms - where the purple particles tended to appear. Odd eye colors weren’t actually that uncommon in most areas he travelled to, so those didn’t stand out too much. The hardest thing to figure out was the teleporting, which he never got good enough control of to use at will but did manage to reign in enough that it didn’t happen accidentally much anymore.

So when he woke up in an unfamiliar place, feeling a bit nauseous as he often did after such an incident, he groaned.

He stood up, checking to make sure he still had his weapons and his shield in case he needed to fight someone on the way out. He did, but no armor. And his cloak was gone, which was bad.

 _What’s a good cover story?_ He wondered, looking around the room, at the chests that lined stone walls. _I could pretend I was going to steal something, but they probably know I have enough supplies to not have to worry about that-_

He turned at the sound of footsteps, coming face to face with a confused and tired-seeming Badboyhalo. The man attempted to rub the sleep from his eyes. “What’re you doing here, Techno? I haven’t seen you around here in weeks.”

Techno paused, fumbling for something to say as Bad reached for a pair of glasses on one of the nearby shelves. “Uh- I’m- Alright, I’ll admit, I was stealing.” He said. “Needed some saplings for a tree farm and this was the best place I knew to get them.”

Bad’s expression turned skeptical. He was quiet for a moment, putting the glasses on, before turning his gaze back to Technoblade. “So you came all the way down to a secret base for saplings instead of going to the tree farm or one of the surface houses?”

Techno shrugged. _Secret base?? Since when did Badboyhalo have a secret base??_ “Yeah, I guess I did.”

Bad stared at him for a moment, And Techno was sure he was going to call him out on his crap any second now. “Well, what type of sapling do you want?” Bad asked instead.

“What?”

“Saplings. You wanted saplings. What type of sapling do you want?” Bad repeated.

Techno stared at him for a moment. “Uh. Spruce.”

Bad nodded, walking across the room. “I’ve got a couple of saplings for those in here.” He said, opening up one of the chests and handing him eleven spruce saplings, which Techno took.

Just as Techno started to thank Bad and go to leave, the shorter man crossed his arms. “So, why are you really here?”

 _I don’t want to be having this conversation this early in the morning._ “I’m not sure what you mean.” Technoblade said. _Lying is hard this early._

“You don’t, huh?” Bad said. “You just showed up in an underground base, with no idea what you were there for - I’m not naive, I can tell when you lie, Blade - and with no signs of you having gone in or out of this room anywhere.”

“I was just.. Stealthy.” Technoblade said.

“Even the dust hadn’t been disturbed at all, Techno.” Badboyhalo said. “You’re not _that_ stealthy.”

Technoblade faltered, with no idea what to say next. _Bruh. Why’ve you got the dust memorized. That is way too much attention to detail for me to come up with a good lie._

“Listen, let’s just both go back to our days and forget this ever-” Techno started, putting his hands up in a small gesture of peace, before looking at Bad, who was staring at him. At his arms, specifically, which were now only covered with the simple white shirt he wore under his cape most of the time. The cape he wore most of the time to cover his arms, specifically, because of the purple particles that tended to appear around them.

Purple particles exactly like the ones Bad was currently staring at. _Oh. Shit._

“What’s that?” Bad asked, his tone not one Techno could read. Somewhere between curious, accusing and cautious, maybe.

“Nothing.” Technoblade said, crossing his arms so that the spot was hidden from view. “Just-”

Bad made a small, sudden sound, not quite human, a sort of distorted clicking noise. He stared up at Techno, their eyes meeting for a long moment, as if thinking he’d understand.

“Uh. Sorry, what?” _The heck was that?? Huh??_

Bad took a step forward, sending a shiver up Techno’s spine. He made the sounds again, a sort of distorted speech that got louder, turning into something even an english major could only describe as an inhuman _screech._  
Bad stopped just as suddenly as he had started. The two were quiet for a moment, and Techno was pretty sure he could hear his own heartbeat. “You can’t understand me, can you?” Bad asked, tilting his head.

 _Why am I the only one who sees that this man is terrifying._ Part of Technoblade thought. “Uh. Yeah, no, I’m not exactly fluent in-” 

That’s when it hit him, What language Bad had been speaking. “-Wait. Are you..?”

Bad nodded, vanishing for a split second and reappearing several blocks away, purple particles floating around his horns. “Part enderman. And it seems you are, too?”

Technoblade nodded. “Don’t know how much, but yeah.”

Bad nodded. “I had another part-ender in my homeworld who taught me the language and how to use the powers, but I take it you didn’t have any?” He said, and Techno shook his head. “Well, do you want to learn?”

“What.”

“You know, how to teleport and speak the language and such.” Bad said.

Techno stared at him for a long moment, in silence. “Give me about two hours to wake up and think about it before answering that question, please.” He said.

Bad nodded. “Alright. I’ll be upstairs when you decide, feel free to help yourself to any of the food in the chests.” He said, and in an instant he was gone.

Techno took a deep breath, sitting down, leaning against the wall. _Out of all the times I’ve teleported in my sleep, that has to be the weirdest one._

He let the breath out, taking several more to calm himself. _So Bad’s also part-ender. How much does he know about these things..?_ He glanced to where Bad had vanished, presumably teleporting. _More than I do, at least._

He glanced down at his hand, at the bit of purple smoke that danced briefly around his fingers before fading. _I think.. I think I’ll ask him to teach me, then. I want to learn more about what I can do with this stuff. Be able to figure out what he was saying._

So he stood up, making his way to the door of the room, and went up the stairs.

“I accept your offer, Badboyhalo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah! I don’t know if I’m going to continue this or not, and updates if there are any will likely be sporadic at best, but I hope you enjoyed this! I hope you have a nice day and I’ll see you around.


End file.
